Kiss
Puke
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
