Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize