so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize