She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
