He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
