Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
