either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we're making bets on your personal life
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
