My brain says no but my pants say off.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
