if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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