The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
