That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
