I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
