Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
