i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
