Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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