I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
