I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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