the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
