Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
People in love make me want to vomit
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
