yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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