When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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