I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
