we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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