if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize