I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
