I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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