I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
So much rum. So many feels.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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