Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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