i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
