Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
