and i looked up. we had an audience...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
