I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
