we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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