Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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