I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
