The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
