In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
