My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
