Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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