plz talk dirty to me
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
honey bunches of taint.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
