so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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