We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
50% drunk capacity currently
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
