its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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