I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Bang-toberfest begins!!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize