when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He has the fingertips of a God
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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