Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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