Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
