$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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