If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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