it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
How's work?
Spinning.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
