I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
