My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
