I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize