he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
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