the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
