Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
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