I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
