i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
