No awkward lesbian experiences without me
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Can Purell be used as lube?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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