You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
